Some of the most difficult times for any family occur when one member is dying or suffering due to physical decline or injury. Particularly trying are the times when that family member is incapacitated and cannot speak their wishes about preferred medical care and financial decisions. Often, two children of an incapacitated parent disagree about the medical care and treatment options for that parent. The difference of opinion can lead to fights during a time when family unity is needed most. Even worse is when the disagreement festers into strained or broken family relations. Ultimately, the loss of one parent can effectively turn into the loss of other family members because disagreements became bitter and some family members will no longer talk with others.

It does not need to be this way. When there are fights among the family in this situation, it often centers around the idea that one caretaking family member proclaims to know what the sick family member wants and, just as strongly, another family member believes they know the wishes of the incapacitated. There is a way that the sick, injured, or incapacitated family members can clearly state their wishes. By doing so, the incapacitated family member takes away any argument the caretaking family members could make about their wishes.

The way to preserve the family’s cohesiveness has to do with getting your wishes down on paper before any time of incapacity arises. The tricky part is that once a person is incapacitated, they will be unable to state their wishes about medical care and financial concerns. So, plan now before it’s too late.

With the help of an Estates Attorney, anyone may state their wishes, through drafting Powers of Attorney, Advance Directives, and Living Wills. The Healthcare Power of Attorney is a document naming someone to make medical decisions on your behalf according to your preferences outlined in the document. The Living Will states your preferences of treatment if you are in a permanent coma. Sometimes those two documents are combined together into an Advance Directive. The Financial Power of Attorney names someone to make financial decisions and outlines the authority given to that person.  An attorney can guide you through the drafting process and can advise about the legal consequences of signing such documents.

By drafting and signing these incapacity planning documents, you can be fairly sure you will have avoided a family catastrophe, you will have preserved family cohesiveness, and your wishes will be followed.

*Robert S. Meyring, an Emory-trained attorney, offers free 20 minute phone consultations at 678-217-4369. The law firm’s website www.willsquill.com has more articles, details, and planning forms.  

LEGAL LAUGH

A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed sulfurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.
"That's unfair!" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."
"Shut up!" barked the devil, jabbing him with his pitchfork. "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"

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