Incapacity happens a lot. You don't know what hit you until you wake up. Do you know anyone in your family that has ever completely lost his or her mind? It's more likely than not, your answer will be "yes." Why? Because of the fact that it is more than 50% likely you will experience a period of incapacity during which you will not be able to make financial and health care decisions for yourself. How does that happen? What can you do about it?

First, what is incapacity? As noted, it's the inability to make financial and health care decisions for yourself. It occurs any time you are involuntarily unconscious like a blow to the head or general anesthesia; or any time you are unable to speak or express your preferences. Inebriation is incapacity if reasonable decisions cannot be made by the inebriated. Sleeping is never the same as incapacity. Incapacity happens in a lot of ways.

Incapacity can be temporary, intermittent, long lasting, or permanent. It can happen from physical trauma, disease, illness, treatment, or aging. A few months ago I told readers that my brother had lost his mind with complete amnesia (also incapacity). He was in a bad car crash and had a contusion - which is like a bruise resulting from a punch in the brain. The amnesia was temporary. He is mostly better now. What I didn't tell readers was that my two grandmothers had both completely lost their minds before they passed away. My favorite grandmother had Alzheimer's and lived with us as we tried to care for her. That was very hard. My grandmother's demise, after being diagnosed with Alzheimer's, was fast. On the contrary, my other grandmother, who died at 98 and 1/2 years of age, lost her mind by dementia and her decline, after diagnosis, was more than ten years.

My dad, who was incapacitated more than twenty years ago when he had a heart attack, recently gave an after dinner mini-speech to his children, their spouses and his wife of 50 years. He went down the list of seven children from oldest to youngest including spouses and told us why he was thankful. He named everyone, what they did for work, their spouses and children, and how fortunate he was for it all. With some relief I thought of how detailed my dad was in making his speech from memory. With gratitude, I told a sibling next to me: "You cannot say Dad is losing his mind after a speech like that."

So what can you do? You can state your financial and health care wishes in Powers of Attorney and Advance Directives, respectively. You also state who will carry out your wishes while you are incapacitated. Those documents are very powerful and they can have permanent legal consequences. They are easier to establish than a Will or Trust and they can easily cause problems if drafted without legal guidance.

And what can happen if you do not establish these documents before incapacity?

Answer: Terri Schiavo